Truth Time: Have you ever eaten a hamburger that remotely resembled the one on the billboard or the TV commercial?
Me neither.
It’s easy to recognize obvious distortion. (And sad that we have come to accept the practice, but
that’s a discussion for another day.) What’s more challenging is to catch the subtle ways in which manipulation is practiced upon us.
For us mystery writers, that’s good news. Skill at deception makes it possible for us to tell the truth while fully realizing—indeed planning—that the reader will come away with a misleading impression. I love doing that in my novels.
Recently at the Clark County Library Authors & Artists Fair, I shared one of my favorite strategies for using description to misdirect readers: creating an emotional distraction. This is akin to a magician’s trick, directing attention over here so you don’t notice what’s going on over there.
Here are three examples of how I do it, followed by instructions you can use to play with the technique.
POWERFUL IMAGERY
In this scene from Knife Edge, the first Zee & Rico mystery, my main character Zee is preparing to confront a woman at her home. Zee describes the façade of the house as “thrust[ing] itself at visitors like a pugilist’s jaw.” Since readers are in her point of view, this image should alert them to Zee’s frame of mind. She’s expecting trouble. Her defenses are up. In that situation, Zee’s attitude, her bias, might distort her perceptions, causing her to misinterpret what happens, and readers right along with her. (I won’t tell you any more than that.)
Compelling images don’t always pop right up when we want them. Here’s one way to coax them from their hiding places. Make a quick list of anything around you that you can see. (You can use any of the senses, but sight is the easiest one to start with.) Then choose something from your list and think of at least one other way to describe it. A cluttered, overflowing desk could become a catch-all (a laundry basket?) for office debris. An empty desk could present itself as a vast unbroken sea inviting creative exploration. Notice how these images evoke different responses, particularly in your willingness to trust what you are being told. Playing on prejudices (a disorderly desk equals a disorderly mind?) can lead readers astray.
VERBS CARRY THE LOAD
Nouns as influencers can be easy to spot. In the example above, a simile (like a pugilist’s jaw) conveys the mood. In the following example, where Zee is opening a package of cookies, verbs do the work. “Zee ripped a strip off the top of the box, tore open the inner wrapper, and yanked a cookie free.” Readers can feel Zee’s emotional turmoil. Empathizing with her, they might forget how emotions can short-circuit rational analysis. They might trust Zee’s deductions and conclusions.
For contrast, imagine if the scene had read this way: “Zee peeled a strip off the top of the box, loosened the inner wrapper, and selected a cookie.” Now she sounds much more logical, doesn’t she? Of course, her thinking might still be off-base. Writers do like to lull readers into believing a calm character is accurately analyzing the situation. A stereotype can be sneaky means of misdirection.
During the drafting stage of writing, I might settle for the first verb that comes to mind, but later I work hard to find just the right one. MS Word has a handy right-click feature that offers synonyms, but I also consult dictionary.com. There I can look at the etymology as well as a more comprehensive list of alternatives that fit different situations.
OBSERVE YOUR OWN BODY
It’s hard to let readers in on a character’s state of mind without outright telling them. Close observation of my body is one of my favorite writing strategies, but fair warning, it can get uncomfortable.
The process is to explore a strong emotional feeling, carefully witnessing what is happening in your body. Fear is a good one to work with, because it’s so powerful. Conjure it up, then notice where and how you feel it. Is it a tightening in your throat? A weight behind your eyes? A pinch deep in your gut? Zero in on that experience and describe it as precisely as possible to yourself. Use powerful images and precise verbs.
In Knife Edge, this is how I describe Zee’s fear that her lover had been hurt in a motorcycle wreck. “It was as if she’d been shot in the chest with a nail gun.” (FYI: I’ve never been shot in the chest with a nail gun, but I have seen one in operation. That was enough for my imagination.)
One reason this strategy works so well is that we identify viscerally with physical sensations, which then provoke emotional responses. With physical and emotional distress hijacking attention, readers can become more susceptible to misdirection. All they’re thinking about is how they hope the character can escape the situation—and quickly. In their rush, they may gloss over important information, just as the character might.
Happily for us, this immersive body technique also works well for pleasant experiences. Zee loves food. Here she is getting lost in the creamy sauce of a chicken-noodle casserole: “satiny on her tongue, it rewarded her taste buds with evocative hints of onion and garlic and a generous smattering of artichokes.” (Focusing like this while eating is delightful, but it does tempt me to eat more than I should. Research can be daunting, but I am a professional, willing to suffer for my art.)
In mysteries, logic is the pre-eminent tool for figuring out whodunnit. Emotion—whether white-hot or ice-cold—is the enemy of logic. Of course, there are many other strategies for misleading readers, but I particularly like using the emotional state because when evoked skillfully over here, what I’m doing over there can slip by unnoticed.
And that makes a larger point for us as readers, inhabiting the other side of the page or screen. Those same strategies of subtle misdirection can function as tools to critically analyze the flood of information in daily life.
By honing your skill at selecting word choices, verbs, and images, you could become that most feared of all consumers, one who cannot be easily manipulated. I would welcome that, even if it means I have to work harder to fool you in the next Zee & Rico mystery, Dark Mirror, coming in January from Camel Press.
Terri Maue is a retired English professor who is pursuing her lifelong dream to write a series of murder mystery novels. Her first novel, Knife Edge, was published in August 2023 by Camel Press. The second book in the series, Dark Mirror, will be released in January 2026. Find Terri at her website terrimaue.com; on Facebook at Terri Maue Author; on Instagram at terrimaueauthor.
Hamburger photo by Mike on Unsplash
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